How to talk to anyone: “What to say to this person? But I would so like to establish relations with him. He could be an excellent client for my business … ”If you have ever been visited by such thoughts, this article is for you. We will tell you how to find natural approaches for meeting different people, and, just as importantly, what to say next and how to build communication .
Through third parties
You are at a public event. You want to meet someone, but you just can’t figure out how to approach. The easiest way to do this is through third parties. Find a mutual acquaintance, find out about the person you are interested in and ask him to introduce you. If there is no such mutual friend, you can approach the event organizer with this request. Or at least try to find out as much information as possible about the person you need that will help you make an acquaintance.
Look for Something in People
Imagine, for example, that you are in an event dedicated to survival in the wild . There are many people in camouflage and with knives. But you were only interested in one person. How can you meet? Here is an option: just ask him about the not quite ordinary flask that hangs on his belt.
It is very simple and natural to ask about something unusual that you found in another person’s appearance. Original case on the phone, bracelet, brooch, book. Just politely ask about any amusing trinket.
You must use the same technique in relation to yourself. Carry Something with you that another person might catch on when meeting you.
Hang your ears
“I just walked by and heard …” Probably, this is how many acquaintances, long-term partnerships and millions of deals began.
So, if you have no one to imagine, and you cannot find any other reason, just go to the company you are interested in and listen. Wait for someone to say a phrase that you can catch on, and wedge into the conversation. It is enough to do it as politely as possible in order to instantly become your own.
Start with commonplace
Where to start a conversation? Unless you are a pick-up who accidentally looked at our website, you do not need to come up with something stunningly witty to make a good impression at the very beginning of your acquaintance. Saying “normal”, “ordinary” remarks, you show that you are a “normal” person, and it is quite possible to deal with you.
Comment on the atmosphere of the event, ask how a person got here or what he does. Even the phrase about good weather on such a wonderful day would be quite appropriate. Everything is suitable if it is not a complaint, rudeness or something unpleasant for the interlocutor. In the future, you can move on to a more meaningful conversation. However, remember. In this case, it’s important not what you say, but how you do it. Radiate friendliness and affability, banal – sometimes, this is all that is required for a new acquaintance.
How to talk to anyone: Tune in to one wave
However, in each case, friendliness should be different. For example, you notice a person with a clearly tired look. You come to him and get acquainted with a very friendly fervor, bombarding him with your charm and wit. With a high degree of probability, the first thing he feels is irritation.
If your interlocutor is tired or not in the mood, a sharp information overload caused by your too active behavior will not contribute to effective communication . You must adjust to his level, at least for a while, before trying to cheer him up. So you show that you understand him and are interested in support.
Search for keywords
So, you agreed on the mood, uttered several platitudes … And then your inspiration runs out and you do not know what to talk about? Well, it’s time to introduce your inner Sherlock Holmes into the game . He will look for evidence. These are single words or phrases that will help catch a new topic – close to your interlocutor.
For example, in the process of talking about a hobby, a person also mentioned his work. He probably loves her very much and would like to talk about her. Fix this keyword and expand your dialogue. Watch the conversation carefully, and you will find many clues that will help keep the conversation going.
Do not give monosyllabic answers
How many times did you get asked questions like: “What are you doing?”, “Where are you from?”, “Where did you study?” And how many times have you been satisfied with your answer? We bet that, at least, not always.
Not always, because if you introduce yourself as a lawyer, for most non-lawyers this will not mean absolutely nothing. Your answer confuses them in advance. They just have nothing to hold on to keep up the conversation.
Your task is to help them. Add brighter and more detailed information to your self-presentation that will enliven the conversation. Say, if you are a journalist, then let us know that you are interviewing. Your interlocutor will probably ask who you interviewed. Now your task is to incorporate the very keywords into the conversation.
How to talk to anyone: Throw the ball
But even the most experienced interlocutor sometimes has bad days. And the conversation fades. This technique is great for this situation. You do not need to invent anything. Just listen and repeat the last word with interrogative intonation:
– Last year I went to Laos.
– To Laos?
– Yes, but it was a business trip.
– Business trip?
You do not need to invent anything. Just interrupt the ball to the side of the interlocutor.
So, to easily get to know a person, use these tricks:
- Before meeting yourself, try to find someone who can introduce you.
- Look for some unusual accessories or objects from people that you can inadvertently ask about.
- Listen to what big companies are talking about and get into the conversation whenever possible.
- It is not necessary to immediately show your intelligence. Banalities do not say that you are commonplace. They only confirm your adequacy.
- Adjust to the mood of the person – this creates empathy and trust.
- Look in the interlocutor’s speech for keywords that indicate his interest in a particular topic. Conversely, arrange your speech in such a way that the other person has something to cling to.
- If you do not know what to say at all, repeat the last phrase with a questioning intonation, as if inviting a person to immerse themselves in the topic.
And in order to master the communication skill even more skillfully, be sure to take our course “ The Best Communication Techniques ”. In just 2 months on this online program you will learn how to better interact with people. You will learn and be able to apply in your life 72 the best communication techniques that we have collected from dozens of books and trainings.
Good luck and see you soon!