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What emotional intelligence is and how to develop it: Best 10 Tips

Emotional intelligence:

Emotional intelligence: Have you ever thought about why, when buying a new phone, laptop or TV, a person more often prefers a well-known brand product that is more expensive than a much cheaper analog of an unpopular brand?

At the same time, technical specifications, appearance, warranty are almost the same, so it is far from always possible to justify this with favorable conditions or better quality.


But did it happen that, having received a salary, you went shopping, spontaneously bought yourself something, and, after a while, thought about the expediency of this purchase and blamed yourself? It wasn’t worth it, because there are a lot of such people.

Those who in actions are guided by emotions and impulses, and not by logic. This may sound a little offensive, but they have insufficiently developed emotional intelligence – the ability to use and use their emotions, to manage them . But there is good news – you can train him. Further, it will be told how.

Emotional intelligence and the collapse of the classical economy

The starting point for a detailed study of the problems of emotional intelligence was 2002. Of course, the field of human emotions interested scientists constantly, but this year the Nobel Prize in Economics was awarded to psychologists D. Kahneman and W. Smith for their research in behavioral economics. If we talk about its results briefly, it was proved that most often people, when making decisions, are guided not by logical intelligence, but by emotions.

In support of this fact, a curious experiment was cited: the acquisition and loss of the same amount of money causes a person to experience different strengths. So, when acquiring, for example, $ 100, the degree of satisfaction is emotionally less than the loss of the same amount.

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This is described in much more detail in the monograph by E. Khlevna and L. Yuzhaninova, “Where is your magic button? How to develop emotional intelligence. ” In it, the authors show the conviction that, as described above, the recognition of the merits of psychologists “was triggered by the trident on the classical economy.” Behavioral, on the other hand, was largely based on understanding the essence of emotional intelligence, the study of which J. Mayer and P. Salovei, professors at Yale University, have been engaged since 1990.

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Under the term “emotional intelligence” (EQ, as opposed to IQ) in their writings describes the person’s ability to recognize emotions, to achieve and generate them in such a way as to promote thinking, understanding emotions and what they mean, and, accordingly, to manage them in such a way as to promote their emotional and intellectual growth.

Why does this person need this ability? Firstly, for effective communication with people. Not a single manager, HR manager, businessman, PR manager or advertiser can do without it. The dependence of the decisions made on the emotional background is true in any cases, which is why now so many nice cats and dogs convince us from the TV screens of the need to make some kind of purchase. The example is a little exaggerated, but the general idea conveys well. “Virus”, “word of mouth”,

Secondly, developed emotional intelligence makes it possible not to fall into commercial networks, to resist manipulation, and to correctly set priorities and goals.

More recently, we published material about empathy and you may have noticed some similarities between it and emotional intelligence. Indeed, empathy, as the ability to understand and empathize with the emotions of others, is one of the components of EQ. Along with self-management, social skills and self-awareness.

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How to develop emotional intelligence

A high level of EQ allows a person to develop more productively in both personal and professional plans, manage stress and build effective communication with others. Work on its development will at least teach you to understand the background of some of your unconscious actions.

  1. Notice your emotional reactions. Pay attention to what is happening to you and around you, and try to understand how you feel about these phenomena on an emotional level. Do not ignore your feelings, as you lose an important part of the incoming information.
  2. Listen to your body language. Do not suppress the physical manifestations of feelings. Our mind and body are closely connected and, having learned to understand this connection, you can easily “read” identical feelings and experiences of others.
  3. Watch how your emotions and behavior are related. Anger makes us raise our voices, embarrassment makes us slurredly. These are just the most obvious examples, but when you understand the connection between experiences and behavior, you will learn how to deal with them and use them to your advantage.
  4. Do not suppress your feelings. Not in the sense that every time someone steps on your foot in public transport, you should start screaming. But negative emotions are as much part of an adequate reaction to what is happening as positive ones. Analyze your feelings, look for a way out and never hide insults and sorrows inside yourself.

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  1. Develop an emotional memory. Keep a special diary and write down your emotional reactions there. Rereading it over time, you will be able to look at yourself from the side, to understand whether they have acted correctly or not, to correct your future behavior.
  2. Practice your desired reactions. You cannot force yourself to experience or not to experience any emotions, but you can decide how to react to them. Are you missing out on nothing? Make a conclusion, and next time control yourself, even if it’s difficult.
  3. Be open and friendly in relationships. These two qualities practically go hand in hand with emotional intelligence.
  4. Develop empathy skills. This will teach you to understand the feelings of other people and share your emotions with them.
  5. Learn to listen. Both literally and figuratively. Not only words have meaning, but also tone, expression, body language at the time of speech. With a certain degree of mastery in these parameters, you can even learn to distinguish between truth and falsehood.
  6. Be emotionally honest. You should not answer “excellent” to the question “how are you?”, Even asked out of banal politeness, if everything is bad with you. Moreover, it’s not worth it if in the morning everything did not work out for you and you look like a living illustration to the concept of “gloom”. Share with others both troubles and joys.
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